running on "E"

I really hate running out of stuff. I don't like running out of ketchup, or milk, or clean underwear, or bread, or toilet paper, or battery life on my ipod, or ink for the printer, or paper, or dental floss...
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This is the season for the outdoor grill. And I hate to run out of propane, so I like to keep a spare tank around (currently the spare is empty too). But nothing kills the good vibes of a cookout more than getting the sirloin patties on the grill, and your flame turns to a flicker because there is no fuel (rare beef anyone) in the tank. Some newer, fancy grills even have a little gauge to let you know when it's getting low. Helpful? It should be, but most of us still try to anticipate how much longer we have AFTER it gets on "E". This is the same thing we do with the fuel gauge in the car, right? We have a gauge to tell us when the gas is about to run out. But a gauge isn't enough, so they started adding the display light that glows "Fuel" or "Low Fuel" or "Pull over you Idiot." But that apparently wasn't enough for us either. So now there is, on most vehicles a gauge, a light and a peep. (Ironically we don't even pay attention to the gauge anymore; we just wait for the light or the peep). Still all of these warnings are not enough. So some cars even have an information system that will tell you how many more miles (down to the 1/10 of a mile) you can go before you are completely stranded. It is strange, no one likes to run out of gas, but we can't help but push the limit to see how far we can go before we have to put the flashers on and hike up the hill with a gas can in hand.

I think it might be good if we had a spiritual fuel gauge, don't you? An objective instrument that would tell us when we were getting close to "E". And even better, an instrument panel that could warn us as to exactly how much longer we had before we would be completely drained. Maybe this instrument panel (located in your belly button or something) could then ask us tough questions like, how many more worship services are you going to skip? How many more days are you going to go without reading God's word? When are going to take some time for quiet prayer? How long do you think you can go without Christian fellowship? When are you going to take a break? This would be the equivalent of telling us its time to fill up. That would be pretty cool to have that kind of spiritual gauge. But then, with our history, would we listen?

"Father, some of us have tanks that just need to be topped off. Others of us are spiritually on "E." Help us over this summer to find the filling station. Guide us to times and places of recreation and rest, reflection and worship. We want to see the needle move toward "FULL." In Jesus name, Amen.

the bachelor and blink

(whispering) i watched the bachelor last night. it's the only episode of it i've watched all season, honestly. i lost interest in that show a long time ago. but i did watch last night's finale. blonde blevin got dishonorably discharged by the Lt. while tessa got promoted! it may help blevin's feelings to be reminded that these tv arrangements have an abysmal record. that's because "reality tv" is an oxymoron and people are always more attractive ib bright clothes, sipping a beverage on a gazebo in Hawaii! these eight week, on screen wife interviews are not so helpful.

i read a book a few weeks ago called "blink" it is about the split second decisions we all make. and how some people in a split second can make amazingly accurate judgement calls, about all kinds of things. that blink is sort of a leadership intuition. but the cool thing is we can learn to make really accurate quick calls about all kinds of stuff if we know what to look for. we all know that some people make really catastrophic split second choices, but the blink book suggests that is because they are observing and evaluating the wrong criteria. you see conventional wisdom suggests that if we spend a long time with someone we can learn more about them thus enabling us to make a sound judgement about them, when actually if we dropped by thier home and observed them for 30 minutes we would actually know more about what they are REALLY like...if we know what to look for.

now that could make an interesting television show... but then how would you run that for eight weeks!

in the end...it does matter!

i like that song by linkin park, in the end ...doesn't get played in churches much. that's probably a good thing. but it is so honest, and i like honesty! i like this song because when i feel like i'm hitting obstacles in life, interference, or just resistence, it just expresses that frustration of trying so hard at something but failing. in football we used to have to pull sleds loaded with 50lbs weights. the resistence made us stronger...but sometimes the weight made us fall. But we got up, because the coach kicked us in the butt.

But i like that song, because ultimately i know in the end...in the THE END... it all matters. And any failure...mess up...skrew up... no matter how large or small is never final. As followers of Jesus we pick up (or are picked up) and we push forward, because that is what Jesus does , and that is what leaders do, and that is what leaders who follow Jesus do...

oh and by the way...the fifty to seventy-five of you that are reading this, you totally rock!

terrible week and a port-o-potty

this has been a week that just reeks! a week that began with hope ended with a lot of disappointment and frustration, confusion and emptiness. i went to the park yesterday to pray...and sulk. in the midst of my grief, i went to the port-o-jon. and there god gave me a little relief and perspective. perhaps not like you think. when i opened the first poo shack, there was on the slimy floor, a duffle bag. a duffle bag stuffed with clothes..it was clearly the clothes of a homeless man. what i used to deposit waste, he used for shelter. and then i realized things could be much worse...

i don't want to be a coco puff

It looked okay but when I bit into it tasted...strange...bad... well, just wrong. My best friend in he school had a Mom who was a real kind lady. But unfortunately kindness doesn't make one a good cook. In this case it doesn't even guarantee that a person can make French toast. But she was so nice I even feel a little guilty saying anything about this. But the powdered sugar she put on our toast tasted bad. That was because it was corn starch. It was early and she grabbed the wrong container, and we paid the price. Did I mention how nice she was?

I am thinking about prayer. I think too often we view prayer like a blind folded reach into the cupboard. We might get what we're looking for but we fear (because we think there's a 50-50 chance) we might just get the corn starch instead. This creates a crazy kind of prayer life. It creates a prayer paranoia that reduces prayer to magic.

You see, in magic you've got to say the phrase exactly right or you may not get what it is you're asking for. And in the worse case, saying the wrong phrase could turn you into a coco puff. That may be how it is in magic, but praying to the living God is not like that. (He prefers captain crunch). Some of this hocus pocus theology comes intertwined in phrases like, "pray specific." Now I suppose it is a good idea to be specific with our requests to God. But specificity in our prayers is needed for our clarity not God's. After all it’s not a toddler we are speaking to. I believe the author of the universe has pretty good grasp of the difference between corn starch and powder sugar.

thoughts on Virginia Tech

the stories are just starting to come out...the sad stories of lives lost, of hopes shattered, of friendships cut short... "why" does not even begin to give voice to the depth of our questions. but still we ask it, and still we hope the answer (the partial answer) to why will help our dismay and dispair. days like today, we ask ourselves when will it end? when will the crazy, random, idoitic, infuriating violence end...when?

And today we pray...with our questions, with our anger, with our tears, we carry them all with us to God in prayer. and we yell with the rage of a grieving mother, "WHY". and in place of answers we get his hand, his comfort, his tears that mix with ours, and for the moment we hope it is enough...

rainy servants

servant sunday was perfectly rainy! yesterday our church cancelled our morning services and went out to worship jesus through serving. if worship is about surrender and service to jesus, i think we may have worshiped more than ever. the weather wasn't pretty, but i was convicted by the thought....what kind of service am i offering if i only offer it under ideal circumstances?...or only if the photo will turn out nice? i was inspired by the 100 or so who chose to serve regardless, and i'm grateful for those who will be giving of their time in the coming weeks to serve our community. yesterday we were not serving instead of worshiping, we worshiped through our serving....and jesus was lifted up.

i weed wacked the easter bunny

i use to like mowing the grass. not so much anymore. i hit a baby rabbit with my weed eater last year. they don't like me to mow the grass either. today i had to mow the grass. so far no casualties and the grass looks pretty good. ...by the way, it was an accident.

clean hands

people lined up to wash their hands in a small basin of clear cool water and dried them with white towels that were sitting on the altar. yesterday was a powerful worship experience for me and for others i think... my heart thumped with emotion as I, along with other followers of jesus, responded to the story of towel and the basin (john 13) by allowing god to wash them, and by picking up the towel of servanthood. yesterday we came closer, closer to being able to answer jesus' question, "do you understand what i have done for you?" do i understand? not completely. But I'm getting closer, we are getting closer.... and that feels good.

what is calling?

Today, I'm thinking about 'calling.' What is it to be 'called.' It certainly does not mean that one is the most talented, the most gifted, or even the best candidate for the task. I think being called is a spiritual tug that occurs when God appoints us for a task (that effects us mentally, emotionally, physically, and every other way..). Calling is a spiritual tug that draws us toward a certain action or task. That tug, if allowed, will jar us out of complacency, apathy, and will even conquer fear. Every fear. When I am called, the discomfort associated with inaction becomes stronger, and strangely, more terrible than any fear of risk that might accompany the action to which I am called. When I am called there is also a strange sense of "I must" that comes with it. I must go, I must do this, I must. And in one sense, it at first seems a bit egotistical, because when I am called there is a sense that "it must be me." "This is my job, this is my responsiblity, I must do it. I must go first, I must lead the way, I must lead others in following. David was not the most qualified, the most likley, the best suited for the job, but he had what others did not...calling. And that in the end, calling was more than enough...indeed calling was all it took to slay Goliath. Today I feel called. I pray you experience the majestic discomfort of being called.

what is up with Sanjaya

I'm starting to get upset about this. I know you expect more spiritual ramblings from me right. Well maybe not. anyway, I can't keep it in any longer, "what is up with american idol?" What is up with AI audience. (hey ai was a city Joshua blew up...) but i digress.. the little girl on AI that they kept showed last night crying...I felt like her. I feel like her everytime I hear Sanjaya sing. I call him jakarta, i don't know why, just to irritate my 9 year old I think. But he is bad, its real bad. Nice kid I suppose, but bad. So what is going on? Any huntches? Here's what I think is going on. There is a college freshman at Harvard or some other Ivy League school, sitting in his apartment with a laptop, who has developed a software program that calls in a million calls per minute. And he is using his scheme to push jakarta, I mean Sanjaya, through. Okay, so its a stretch but I just can't believe what I'm seeing. It's unreal! That's all I've got today... would love to hear your thoughts....peace out.

capturing the heart of a harlot

I read this morning about Rahab... you know that woman in the bible who was a card carrying member of the world's oldest profession. I read about how she risked everthing, literally everything, to obey the one who had finally captured her heart.

I wondered....what does it take to capture the heart of a whore? God said to me...I don't know ask yourself what it takes to capture your heart. (I didn't know if Ishould be offended by that or not). For Rahab it was a story, actually stories. She heard the stories of one who loves with an unfailing love, who protects and provides for those he loves, and who welcomes those who long for true love, and knocks on the door to give, not take. When she heard that story, about that one, she fired the pimp, threw caution to the wind and ran into the arms of the lover of her soul.

And, that day, the harlot became a queen ....

he beat his... (donkey)

I read this morning a remarkable story...even for a follower of jesus, this is a strange story. A scorcerer is on his way to curse the people of god and his donkey won't let him go...so he gets off the saddle and starts beating the crap out of his donkey. That's not the stranger part...the freaky thing is he hears the donkey speak to him (why do I always here the voice of eore when Iread this story) any way... the donkey says, "dude we've been tight all these years why are you beating the heck out of me. Can't you trust me that there is something blocking the path." And oh yeah...the scorcerer dude answers the donkey- that's the stangest part.

If you can get past the spectacular parts of the story the truth will kick your...behind. The donkey sees what the man could not. I think of the times people have seen blocks and landmines and were trying to warn me, but instead of listening to them I beat them up. Maybe not physically, but I thought they were dumb or blind or shortsighted. When atually they saw what I could not see... yes, sometimes it's wise to listen to what the ...donkeys.... around us are saying. Sometimes they see better than we do...if I am too stubborn to listen to even a donkey then what does that make me? (rf. num 22.21-39)

Mutant Ninja Xtns

So the local xtn radio station asked me to speak at a promo they're doing for the release of the new kids movie- teenage mutant ninja turtles. they asked if I would give short devotional word before the movie starts... i said sure and so I've been thinking of what i might say. Let me run this by you feel free to tell me what you think...

I haven't seen the movie but I am willing to bet my $2.00 box of milk duds that the good guys win. i don't know that for a fact, but I am fairly certain the movie makers do not want the kids throwing the TMNT figurines in the trash at the conclusion of the flick. So the good guys will win. something else I can tell you about this movie I have never seen. There will likely be a point in the movie where it will look like the good guys might lose.

This is the easter season, and it is the time of year we are reminded that good will win...oh yeah, I mean...has won. there was a time in the plot of history that it didn't look that way. there were times when it looked as if it might be time to ball up and throw away all items marked with 'hope.' there are times in our own lives now that we aren't sure if good will win. but then easter comes around again, assuring us that, good wins, because God is on the side of good. and our spirit yells, "kowubunga, dude" . (jesus did the the kow-u-buga on the head of evil.) easter reminds me that people who cling to god will never loose. at the time the battle heats up, they mutate, find extrahuman strength...and kick all kind of evil butt.

Okay so that's all i've got for now....

Easter Headquarters

Yesterday I passed a rite aid sign. The sign said 'easter headquarters.' that struck me as strange.The land of kodak film, greeting cards, and pepto is now easter headquarters. I suppose they were referring to their easter merchandise. I guess they were saying that right there, at rite aid, one could get everything one needs for easter. easter headquarters. hmmm, i don't think I agree with that sign. most of what is essential about easter...well ALL that is essential about easter can not be purchased from a pharmacy. I mean really what use is foot powder to the resurrected christ or nasal spray or overpriced breath mints?
I think today I might go to rite aid and ask for the resurrection department. I bet they don't have one. sadly, many churches don't have that department either. but whereever/whenever that department is open, that's the real easter headquarters.

Avoided

Avoided... I don't really like the feeling of being avoided. It really stinks. every timeI get that feeling I remember my most vivid memory of that feeling. I was a hot, good-looking, witty, successful, overweight, backward, third shift working security guard. she was a pretty, articulate, likeable nurse who took good care of my grandma in the hospitial. she also happened to live in the gated community where I was the night watchman. (can you say mismatch) anyway I got the fantasy to ask her out...I didn't really know how to do that...so I called her at work and had to explain to her who I was and why i felt compelled to call her at work. She was nice. It was weird!

Well, she never really wanted to go out with me...in fact one day I was working and I saw her approach the gate, and she must have been really late for work because she floored her taurus and nearly broke the gate down. she must not have known it was me in the guard shack because she didn't even look my way... it seemed to me there for several months she was always in real big hurry... I figured over time that she probably wasn't ready to date an officer of the law. then I got older and discovered what i knew then..she was avoiding me.

Do you ever feel that way? It sucks doesn't it? Even if your not being avoided, the feeling is not nice. Hey, for what it's worth, (and to me its quite a lot), God doesn't avoid me or you... he seeks us out and makes a point to say, "nice uniform."

vision

this weekend's message will be about vision...our vision as a church. i mean really, without vision what is the point. Church life (no, life itself) is drained of passion without vision, without some kind of preferred future to work toward. Because every one knows the world is pretty jacked up!

But more to the point, vision itself is useless if the vision is not a God-breathed one. a man made vision is nothing more than the invitation to join someone's ego trip. it will do little to help others or to improve our world. But a vision inspired by God...now that's a different story. That is an invitation to work toward.... something that ultimately matters...something worthy of laying one's life down for. God's vision...nothing else is worthy of my life or anyone elses. It is that vision that I am compelled to follow.

Getting Started

blogging...i thought it was time to put my ramblings out there..uh...for me to read. Nothing profound to say today, just getting my feet wet with blogger. Seems easy enough but I do wonder who will ever read this.

My hope is to put on this space thoughts and reflections- especially as they relate to my understanding of God and his activity in the world. I tend to believe God is at work all around us, and displays his beauty in the simpliest (and therefore the most over looked) ways. Maybe we will see...